The Most Important Challenge
And I'm doing my best to show up for it
Today I sent emails all morning. I cried (just a bit) out of frustration over business things. Then I laughed, and eventually I showered it all off. Quite a morning, if you ask me :))
After that, I rushed to pick up a few jewelry pieces before the weekend schedule kicked in at the Diamond District. Made it in time, got it all done!
When I finally sat on the N train heading downtown, my whole body felt weak. My brain was foggy. It hit me how much I had pushed through without pausing.
So I did. I got off in Soho and went to my favorite café. It has a small backyard that’s usually quiet. Today it was empty and breezy. I ordered a cappuccino and a tahini sea salt cookie, sat down, and let the world move without me for a bit. Slowly, I felt myself return.
After a while in New York, you forget how much your body needs stillness. You start treating silence, rest, and care like luxuries. But they are not. They just take effort. And in this city, that effort can feel like another job.
Twelve years ago, I ended up in the hospital with a stress-induced colon ulcer that could have killed me. No joke, it was awful ughhh.. It happened after a nonstop sleepless fashion week season across several cities. I spent eight days in a hospital around Union Square, seven of those, immobilized in a monitored room. completely unreachable. That ulcer also triggered IBS that still flares up at the most inconvenient times.
After that, an Indian doctor introduced me to juicing and fasting. At the time it was not popular or wellness-coded. It was just survival. People assumed I had food issues. What I really had was a system in collapse and a desperate need to reset.
Even now the pattern tries to return. If I do not make time to slow down and get proper food, I slip. In a city like this, fresh produce is not rare but it is not easy either. Sometimes I have to walk to the farmers market just to avoid a pile of recently unfrozen tomatoes that taste like nothing. If I do not plan ahead, I end up snacking or skipping meals. Cooking has been one of the only things keeping my health afloat in a world where everything comes in a powder or a bar shape.
This past winter was another wake-up call. After a full year of putting myself last and prioritizing work and family, my health took a toll. I lost a lot of weight. That is usually what happens when I am stressed, but this time it was worse. People were concerned. And they were right.
So I had to take the reins again. I started journaling. I began supplementing. I slowly reintroduced some meat to bring up my iron and my very low vitamin D. I added magnesium at night, paired with quiet time and writing. I went back to juicing my favorite recipe. Life and health have started to return. It is still a challenge, but it is the most important challenge.
That is why today mattered. Sitting in that backyard, with that cookie and that coffee, I remembered what it feels like to actually stop. Not crash. Just pause. And listen.
Because my body has never stopped telling me the truth. I am just learning to listen to it again. Wish me luck!
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